I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
