TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
