VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
