Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
