the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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