Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
