Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Randomize
