I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
