Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
