Hey man sorry I got all grabby
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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