I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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