Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
