Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
