She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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