hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
