I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
