Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It all started with a game of naked twister.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
