he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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