What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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