I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
