i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
