youre lurking in front of me
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
