it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
