if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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