thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
