Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
