it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
