Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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