Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
babies were throwing up all over the place
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
