Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
