why didn't you poke me back
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
