matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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