First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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