Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
