He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
