the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
