and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
