you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
