I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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