What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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