I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
