Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
