Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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