You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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