Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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