So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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