I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
