Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
