i barfeds in our rink
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize