I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
