It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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